All I want for Christmas is some tinfoil clothing and a flying car.
When I was in grade 3, we were tasked with writing a story about the year 2000. Y’know, way, way, WAY in the future when I would be really old and 30 and stuff.
I really don’t understand what those scientists have been pfaffing about with all these years. All that dilly-dallying with single serve coffee makers and vibrating toothbrushes. Surely, I thought, there would be flying cars by the year 2000.
Or–not to complain, but–perhaps by, you know, much later, like 2013.
And of course, we’d all be lounging around eating astronaut ice cream while carefully avoiding the strawberry strip (astronaut ice cream always seems to be Neopolitan flavour. Why, why, why?)
Driving and eating ice cream were apparently what I aspired to do as a grown-up.
I was so very smart.
But, alas, we’re not on Mars, which is probably a good thing. I already have to wear SPF 60 way over from the sun here on temperate, aqua-licious Earth. Yep, I imagine it’s super toasty on Mars. Good for roasting marshmallows, I bet. Just stick your arm out the window of your (flying) car, marshmallow clutched between two fingers and presto-bongo, toasted marshmallow, lickety-split.
Kew-el.
In case you’re wondering, that’s how we say “cool” on Mars.
But, I digress.
The point is, I can’t believe we’re not having Christmas on Mars.
In 2013! 50 years after The Jetsons!
Back in the Atomic age, people were certain that we’d be celebrating festive seasons on the red planet by now. In hopeful anticipation of such events, they even created Christmas decorations in colours not found in nature (but presumably found on Mars). Things I have gleefully collected such as:
Silver Christmas trees (found at a thrift store):
Oh Atomic Tree, Oh Atomic Tree, How Silver Are Thy Branches
A box of vintage lights (given to me by Auntie Ju and Put):
Some vintage light reflectors (given to me by my atomic-sympathetic friend, Shades):
Love them all but, love, love, love the flowery ones!
I have grand, atomic-inspired plans for these. Quirky, mischievous and crafty plans to upcycle these lovelies.
Send me your ideas if you have some!
Practical Man is no doubt groaning as he reads this. He always loves when I get “my ideas”. He’ll love it even more, if you chime in.
Even though he groans, he is very cooperative. Practical Man got a spool of wire (which of course he had hanging around the house because he’s very practical), and we turned these retro lightbulbs into funky decorations for our atomic tree.
Voila!
A tree fit for Mars, don’t you agree? With slight overtones of Charlie Brown, I admit.
Isn’t it a thing of retro beauty?
I’ll have to ask Santa for my flying car. And, I’m not a doubting girl like that little Natalie Wood was. Oh no, I’m sure Santa can get me one. Think about it:
a) I have been very, VERY mostly good all year and
b) Santa has a flying sleigh which is practically like a flying car. He obviously has the technology.
My Christmas morning will be like Miracle on 34th Street for the Atomic age.
And, maybe next year, we’ll be on Mars.
Copyright Christine Fader, 2013. Did you enjoy this post from A Vintage Life? Share on Facebook Tweet You might also like my latest book.
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